Thursday, August 30

always.sometimes.never

Things the Happily Childless Say to Moms:

Always: What are you talking about, you can totally rock a bikini!
     translation: OH EM GEE, I would die if my stomach looked that awful.

Sometimes: You don't have mom boobs, I promise.
     translation: If I had to identify you by your boobs, I might guess you're 75.

Never: I'm so jealous of you, I wish I was washing boogers and poop off of my floors all day.


Things Happy Mothers say to the Happily Childless:

Always: You are so lucky you can go grocery shopping alone.
     translation: This is what they really mean. They are too tired to be caddy.

Sometimes: Yeah, you're right, you do have plenty of time to have children, have fun while you can.
     translation: The contents of your ovaries are drying up as we speak.

Never: Definitely have kids if you enjoy peace + quiet, alone time and peeing with the door closed.



And that, my friends, was the "always, sometimes, never" link up with  EllenBrie, and Taylor. You should probably go link up too, if you have any blogging brains at all. 

4 comments:

Elisabeth @ La Vita e Bella said...

this is hysterical
loved it

Jess said...

haha! Love this! So clever!

sophistifunk said...

you. are. hilarious. end of story.
oh and you're totally right...
#ellenneedsatwitter

xo brie

this hive. said...

How am I just now reading this?!? You are too much. Hilar!

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