Always: What are you talking about, you can totally rock a bikini!
translation: OH EM GEE, I would die if my stomach looked that awful.
Sometimes: You don't have mom boobs, I promise.
translation: If I had to identify you by your boobs, I might guess you're 75.
Never: I'm so jealous of you, I wish I was washing boogers and poop off of my floors all day.
Things Happy Mothers say to the Happily Childless:
Always: You are so lucky you can go grocery shopping alone.
translation: This is what they really mean. They are too tired to be caddy.
Sometimes: Yeah, you're right, you do have plenty of time to have children, have fun while you can.
translation: The contents of your ovaries are drying up as we speak.
Never: Definitely have kids if you enjoy peace + quiet, alone time and peeing with the door closed.