Thursday, May 9

I Don't Have "IT" Together

I don't know what "it" is, exactly, but I do know that whatever it is, it isn't under control over here. Our lives (and home) have looked a lot like this lately (notice the TV on in the background. Non-perfect mom over here...hi!)

I've felt so off recently. So much to do, so little time. I feel so busy that I can't even appreciate crossing something off my list. There are just a million more things to get to. I don't like it when life gets like that. It makes it hard to remember to appreciate the small things. Like tiny toddler toes and specks of leftover pink nail polish (he wanted to be like me).

I don't know if it's the over-tiredness that's getting to me, but I cried last week because we sold our car. Loser! I know you're thinking it. (ha) It was the car we drove Carter home from the hospital in. 

The first one he pretended to "drive" in. When did I get so sentimental? I'm tearing up just looking at this picture! We were done with it though and it's over-sizedness. 

We're going to be moving at the end of July and I cringe when I think of how I'll feel. If I cried over a silly SUV what am I going to do when we leave our home? Where Carter was a teeny baby! Where he did his first everything. It's not going to be good. I'm excited for the changes (I truly love change...good change, anyway). And I always knew we'd move, but I don't feel ready. 

I'm terrified to leave his sweet nursery (where he never spent a single night) behind. I don't think it helps that I'm writing this post from his room. His shark is staring at me from behind and his name hangs on the wall above my head. 

For the next few months, despite the ridiculous business that is our lives, I'm going to try to appreciate everything here. Especially the little things that seem to float by without recognition. Like the way Carter drives his truck back and forth from the kitchen to the living room and the way that he stands on his tip toes to turn on the TV when he knows he shouldn't. I know he'll do these things later, but it won't be the same; it won't be here.

leggings c/o Jennifer Ann


Anonymous said...

Although I don't have a child, I can relate. I'm definitely at a place where I have SO MUCH to do I've decided not to do any of it and I'm so stressed with the piling list that I can't enjoy anything happening around me. It's horrible! But we'll get there. We'll get "it" together soon enough.


Lanaya | Raising Reagan said...

Oh girl ... I want to reach in and give you a big ole hug!! It sucks watching everything that you are comfortable with change. But ... it's not the end.
So cry a couple of tears, take a shot of Jack, smack yourself in the face and keep going! You got this mama!!

(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo

Kelly said...

You can do it girl, you can!

Sparkles and Shoes

The Grass Skirt Blog said...

I relate to you so much. For one thing, I always have the TV going. I know it won't score me any mom of the year points, but seriously...he loves it. I was in a car crash a few weeks ago and was so upset about the car being totaled because it was the car that my baby came home from the hospital in. I think our emotions just mean that we're good moms who loves our kids. Maybe we can define what "It" is for ourselves. :)
The Grass Skirt Blog

Sarah said...

Oh, goodness, this is so me. We have been loving our little house and making it ours for the past three years. Now with a baby on the way, there's a new nursery, which my husband literally built by adding an extra room and I know the day will be here in a couple years to sell and I can't even think about it. Cherish every day and think of all the memories you'll get to make in the next house! I imagine the picture we'll take with the sold sign in front of the new house, with a new baby and dog, just like we did in our first house, with just the two of us newly engaged.

Anonymous said...

This is sad! I can't imagine selling our car yet. It has taken two wonderful little terrors home with us, and I would absolutely die if I had to part ways. I am just not ready. I am also moving in July, so I can relate to that. Our house is a wreck because I don't want to think about packing it all up to say good bye. Good luck to you! And, your son is absolutely precious :)


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