I don't know what "it" is, exactly, but I do know that whatever it is, it isn't under control over here. Our lives (and home) have looked a lot like this lately (notice the TV on in the background. Non-perfect mom over here...hi!)
I've felt so off recently. So much to do, so little time. I feel so busy that I can't even appreciate crossing something off my list. There are just a million more things to get to. I don't like it when life gets like that. It makes it hard to remember to appreciate the small things. Like tiny toddler toes and specks of leftover pink nail polish (he wanted to be like me).
I don't know if it's the over-tiredness that's getting to me, but I cried last week because we sold our car. Loser! I know you're thinking it. (ha) It was the car we drove Carter home from the hospital in.
The first one he pretended to "drive" in. When did I get so sentimental? I'm tearing up just looking at this picture! We were done with it though and it's over-sizedness.
We're going to be moving at the end of July and I cringe when I think of how I'll feel. If I cried over a silly SUV what am I going to do when we leave our home? Where Carter was a teeny baby! Where he did his first everything. It's not going to be good. I'm excited for the changes (I truly love change...good change, anyway). And I always knew we'd move, but I don't feel ready.
I'm terrified to leave his sweet nursery (where he never spent a single night) behind. I don't think it helps that I'm writing this post from his room. His shark is staring at me from behind and his name hangs on the wall above my head.
For the next few months, despite the ridiculous business that is our lives, I'm going to try to appreciate everything here. Especially the little things that seem to float by without recognition. Like the way Carter drives his truck back and forth from the kitchen to the living room and the way that he stands on his tip toes to turn on the TV when he knows he shouldn't. I know he'll do these things later, but it won't be the same; it won't be here.
|leggings c/o Jennifer Ann|