The Unsoiled Variety

(Just in case you forgot what I look like). Don't mind me while I pretend I'm not freezing. And yeah, I'm aware I'm wearing a large faux fur headband. I love it. The cashiers at Marshalls like to stare at me like I'm wearing a real, live raccoon up there or something. Get with it, Marshalls employees. Don't you sell these things? Is it that weird? Do you think I stole it, is that why you gawk?

 

P.S. Living in the middle of nowhere will get you strange stares for wearing even the benign-est of accessories. It's amusing.

 

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Sometimes I lie awake at night and I think about creative writing class. I learned more life lessons in 5 creative writing classes than I did in 10 years of sports, 14 years of school, 6 years of "real life," and almost 3 years of motherhood.

Nothing compares.

You walk into class on a Wednesday evening and you have no idea if you'll leave feeling like the next Hemingway (with the whole drinking thing totes under control), or like you should launch yourself into a trash can by the quad and roll down the nearest ravine.

I've experienced both sides once or twice and I'm pretty sure they're of equal value. Both motivating in their unique, sadistic way.

I lie awake at night re-writing my favorite screenplay in my head. At this point I can remember every positive and negative...."constructive" thing ever said. There's something about screenwriting that sucks me in. To be in this other world where you don't have to write about your own life and if you choose to nobody has to know that character with the lisp and the nervous tick is actually you in sixth grade.

Nonfiction class basically consists of a professor wanting to know every last detail of the deepest, darkest secrets possessed by every member of the classroom. And they expect you to be comfortable enough to share such details on day one.

It wasn't for me. I'm not an over-sharer. I can hardly form a Facebook status without heart palpitations and a cold sweat. And yet here I am blogging...?

What I like about blogging is how there are people who care about your writing and then there are those who care about your outfits. You can totally be in both camps. In creative writing class no one cares. Most people, I think, change their clothes perhaps once per full moon. And even then it's not necessarily into something of the unsoiled variety.

Which reminds me. Outfits. I expanded my closet the past few weeks thanks to my friends over at Le Tote. They sent me a tote of things to wear and review. There were three pieces that were my favorite so they had to be shared.

interested?

leopard print blouse here

arrow necklace here

pyramid earrings here

 

 

One thing that I loved about getting my tote (other than the fact that getting mail is one of the happiest feelings in the world) is that everything fit. I'm always kind of skeptical of the whole ordering clothes online thing. I always think it's such a gamble, but at Le Tote you enter your measurements into your profile (not just your size--sizes are the worst invention ever. So unreliable! Everything clothes-related should be measurements only in my opinion!). And let me tell you, they know what to send!

 

So just so we're clear, Le Tote sent me this monthly box out of the goodness of their adorable hearts. I wasn't compensated for this post.

How We Met

Now this is the story all about how my life got flip-turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the wife of a guy named Thom-as.

This one time at band camp Tom and Amy were about to swap phone numbers when it was time to leave. They tried desperately to shout their numbers to one another before boarding their respective buses, but they had a problem. They had just shared a bag of pretzels and it was getting harder and harder to yell.

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!" Tom yelled, as the counselor pulled him up to the first stair of the vehicle.

"Baby, baby, baby, nooooo!" Amy shrieked back as she saw the doors close over Tom's tear-streaked face. "I thought you'd always be mine!"

In the criminal justice system premature separations from summer camp are considered especially heinous. Just 24 hours previous Amy had laid eyes on Tom for the first time. It was minutes before the Sadie Hawkins dance. Tom was wearing khaki pants. She had a weakness for khaki pants, especially the pleated ones.

He was also in the middle of a boxing match (yes, in his khaki pants). While she looked on in a dream-like state, she almost got caught in the crossfire. Tom was boxing another camper, Kramer, in the ring--the one ring to rule them all.

His six-fingered fist was pulled back like an arrow and he was about to release it as he shouted at Kramer, "My name is Tom Inigo Montoya, you scratched my CD, prepare to die!"

Amy ducked, Kramer squealed, Tom moved swiftly; he was about to send Kramer into next week when Amy couldn't bear it anymore. "Stop!" Amy shouted, "I volunteer as tribute!" Amy climbed into the ring and shook as she stared into Tom's huuunnngryyy eyes.

Tom's fists dropped to his side, he stood there for a minute, silent, as the invitation to the dance rolled off her tongue, "Hello. I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."

"You had me at hello," Tom said as he literally swept Amy off her feet. He set her down outside of the boxing ring, "Would you be my girlfriend? I'd treat you good. You know I hear your friends when they say you should."

Amy accepted, held his hand and said "Your hands are cold."

Tom replied, "Now we're the same temperature."



*A big thank you to Fresh Prince, American Pie, Seinfled, Justin Bieber, Pat Benatar, Lord of the Rings, Princess Bride, Eric Carmen, Notting Hill, Relient K, Jerry Maguire, The Ringer, The Hunger Games, *NSYNC, Pride & Prejudice and Twilight for the above references. Also thank you sister for supporting me through the duration of this post. 

First Ever Hub Pages Article

Check our my first hub article here! I'm going to start writing makeup tutorials and other cosmetic related articles for Hub Pages. Follow me for lots of makeup wonderfulness!