Thanks for waving at everyone at Target. It’s fun to make friends, isn’t it? Everyone likes to tell you how cute you are because--well, let’s face it, you are.
Dear Finger Nails,
I am SO SORRY I have neglected you. You seriously look like crap. Your chipped red nail polish isn’t doing you any favors. Get yourself to a salon NOW; at home manicures are not going to cut it this time.
Dear Barnes & Noble Patrons,
I'm sorry you had to witness our tantrums yesterday. One of us (I'm not naming any names) absolutely refused to leave the kids' section, HAD to stand on top of all the benches, AND press every button on every book with a sound button. I'm sorry, but it was very serious business and it had to get done. This particular person also decided to scream every time I tried to end said button pushing/bench standing because it was time to leave. Let's just say, we left without buying the book we went in for. But don't worry...we'll be back.
I have a freaking awesome guest post and DIY for you next week. I'm pretty excited about it. Also, did you know that SHARK WEEK STARTS ON SUNDAY??????
You are so awesome. I love the way your teeth come out of your mouth all on their own. I love the way you leap out of the air to eat fake seals on Air Jaws. I wish I could have a pet of you except for the fact that you are bigger than my living room (maybe whole townhouse) and I wouldn't have anywhere to keep you. Also, you would probably devour me, but just a request: if you ever happen to see me swimming/treading water/whatever in the ocean, could you just leave me alone? Or if you must have dinner, please, please just gobble me up in one bite. One and done, OK? Also, I've dedicated a Pinterest board to you because that's how much I love you. I've also considered a tattoo of your tooth (weird?).
Until next time...